There have been a number of studies over the years that show people in a relationship tend to be healthier and live longer where people who are alone tend to have poorer health and a shorter lifespan.

Most of the studies indicated that marriage is the best form of relationship for those want a healthier life and chance of living longer. Long term marriages tend to keep both husband and wife living longer, which is why when one dies, the other often dies within a year or two. Family members will tell you that the surviving spouse just could not live without their lifelong companion. We all probably know a couple like that. I do as it describes my parents. They met and married in 1944. My dad’s health started failing around 2010 and he died in June 2014 on Father’s Day. When he died, my mom’s health wasn’t that bad but shortly after dad passed after being married for almost 70 years, mom’s health began a rapid decline and she passed less than 10 months later.

A number of seniors who lose a spouse do end up finding another senior who also lost a spouse and the two begin a romance and get married. Often, it’s not just love that brings things couples together but the need to be with someone, have someone who cares for them and someone for them to care for.

Then there are a number of seniors who move in together but don’t get married. It is cheaper to live as a couple in one house/apartment/trailer than it is for the two of them to live separately. The companionship of having someone is also important and adds to their health and lifespan.

However, there is a growing trend among seniors that experts refer to as ‘living apart together’. This is best described as when a couple develop some kind of relationship but do not plan on living together nor do they intend to get married. They continue to keep their own places to live but may spend a lot of time and even a night or two at the home of the other.

Laura Funk, an Associate Professor of Sociology at the University of Manitoba commented about the trend:

“It’s a new, emerging form of family, especially among older adults, that’s on the rise.”

While this new trend has its benefits, according to some, it also raises a number of questions and concerns. These include:

“What effects will they have on older adults’ health and well-being? Will children from previous marriages accept them? What will happen if one partner becomes seriously ill and needs caregiving?”

Some researchers are focusing on finding answers to these and other questions.

If you or someone you know is ‘living apart together’ with another senior, you or they need to address these questions and concerns before it’s too late. This kind of lifestyle or relationship can cause undue stress on one member if something serious happens to the other. They will have no legal ability to say or make decisions and could end up as a bystander crushed by the decision of others. On the converse side, who do you want to make that decision for you if anything happens to you?