For centuries, older people were the ones many others turned to because they were considered to be wiser due to their years of experience. Kings and queens often filled their group of closest advisers with those who have been around longer so they could tap into their wisdom and knowledge. Military leaders were older not just because of their age but because they had experienced more and learned more. They were very relevant to the success of the military as seen in World War 1 & 2.

Then came the electronics or techy age where younger people began to rule. They believed they knew more, especially about all of the electrical devices, computer programming, writing aps and programs and just using the many programs and modern equipment.

As this trend took over America, older people were no longer the wise sages that everyone turned to. Instead, they became the old timers that were out of date and no longer considered relevant.

The same trend often holds true in many families today.

When an adult is a parent, they are the ones their kids turn to, or should turn to. They often have relations with other parents around the same age as themselves and these relationships tend to dominate their lives. In times past, many parents turned to their own parents for advice but nowadays, they turn to their peers and the internet for advice and the older parents (grandparents) begin to feel more and more irrelevant.

There is also a bigger push to retire older employees and replace them with younger people. To many seniors, forced retirement is cruel and devastating.

Some years ago, there was a man in our church that worked for the FBI. He reached an age that at the time was mandatory retirement for all field agents and he was forced to retire. He went from being someone who made an impact and influenced others to someone put out to pasture, basically telling him that because of his age, he was no longer useful. For some people, retirement is great but when you realize that you are no longer relevant because of your age, retirement is something dreadful.

Markus Schafer, a faculty associate at the Institute for Life Course and Aging and the University of Toronto, explains:

“As people get older, there are fewer and fewer opportunities to feel like they make a difference and matter.”

“One thing about Western societies, in general, is they’re much more a youth-centered society and don’t oftentimes give careful thought on ways older people can contribute to the lives of future generations.”

A study conducted in 2016 revealed that 1 in 5 adults in their 60s reported that no one had asked for their advice in the past year and that number went to 1 in 4 for adults 70 and older.

This goes with the adage of having an elementary school kid teach a senior citizen how to use their TV remote or cell phone.

Feeling irrelevant leaves older people with a sense of loneliness and it has been found that people who feel lonely tend to have more chronic inflammations that are often linked to various diseases, which then lead to earlier deaths.

So, what can a senior do to avoid feeling lonely and irrelevant, when no one comes to them for advice?

Simple, go out and get socially active. If you don’t have the opportunity to be involved with grandkids, then find a group of people with similar interests as your own. If need be, find yourself a hobby and then seek others who enjoy the same hobby. Some seniors volunteer their time with various organizations, charities or ministries. Ever thought about volunteering to be a reader in the local grade school or public library? If you need to stay active and exercise, find others in your area you can walk and talk with. There are tons of ways to interact with others.

The bottom line is that if no one comes to you for advice, then you need to go to others to get and give advice. If you feel irrelevant or lonely, get off your duff and get involved with others. If you don’t, then don’t complain about being lonely and possibly dying sooner.